Distant love
Tuesday, 22 May 2012
Sajini Chandrasekera
Long distances relationships are more common these days as the internet bring people from all over the world together, despite their age, religion, and race. Being involved in a long distance relationship is difficult and confusing to most people. To my knowledge all relationships need efforts, but long distance relationships take an extra mile. Most people cannot work out these kinds of relationship as communicating, compromising and understanding are the stronger pillars of a long distance relationship. Truth is that relationships don't depend on distance but on the love that both parties have.As the technology is at its best; Skype makes any long distance relationship work better than ever before. If the partners could spend some time each day with each other over Skype or phone it will make the relationship stronger, knowing that your partner across the seas is thinking of you and missing you. It's a beautiful feeling and everyone loves it. Love needs communication to grow. Unless both of you put in the effort to communicate each other’s feelings and talk about goals and aspirations, you’d start to see that both of you are moving away in different directions. And at times, both of you may end up becoming incompatible partners even if both of you were deeply in love with each other.
Discuss issues whenever they arise. Privacy is important for any individual but don't hide truths from your spouse. Unresolved issues will always pop up later and create troubles. Rather than yelling at each other, sit together and tackle the issue. Forgive and forget the differences of opinions. You want to know the cause of the issue and not the person behind the cause.
Labels: Relationship, Sajini Chandrasekera
posted by S A J Shirazi @ Tuesday, May 22, 2012,
23 Comments:
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At 15:00,
Shirazi said...
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You are welcome here at Light Within Sajini Chandrasekera. Many thanks for sending your thoughts on subject that is getting popular in online population. I shall look forward to publishing your work (Poetry as well as Short Stories), so will the readers of Light Within.
Coming on to the subject you have touched. Computers, the internet and collaborative social media channels have changed the way we work, live and even love. No doubt about that.
But I think, love breeds on proximity. You can fine, get to know a person you want to settle down with but what next. One just can’t live the life on Skype and SMSs. That is whyI would rather prefer to build an online community to share, care and discuss things, and at the best a meeting place for further relationship. What you say. -
At 15:06,
Durrani said...
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Well a good write. However, it shall be noted that the distant relationship shall remain distant. Otherwise it will end in a shocking crash of imaginations. Here, a German girl had a relationship with a Pakistani man for over three year on the net. Then she decided to marry him. Came all the way from Germany to Pakistan. On meeting him fond him different in real from what she was expecting. But obvious, on the net many a things are imaginary and ones fantasies. So a dramatic and painful end. I would say it is good as far as the emotional and moral support to the known loved and near ones are concern but, for new relations, it is good to be on the net in the Fantasy World.
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At 15:08,
said...
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Welcome Sajni to the blog.
Your mention of Skype has aroused my interest in the topic further. I would like to suggest a few other services that people would find useful in order to strengthen the relationship between their loved ones.
Gmail now offers a free calling feature to call the US or Canada numbers for Free. So, if you have loved ones in US/Canada, you can now call them at their landline/cell numbers right from your gmail account.
Additionally, for those of us on smartphones, there are applications that allow you to call for free as well. One such is Talkatone for iPhone and NetTalk for iPhone.
There are free SMS apps as well.
Thanks again for sharing these wonderful and insightful tips with us. Hope to hear/read from you more on this topic, and how technology can make such relationships work and nurture them. Best of luck!!! -
At 17:03,
said...
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Wonderfully written! I would love to see more article of this caliber. Thank you for a wonderful article Sajini.
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At 18:41,
said...
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Welcome Sajini
I will look forward to reading your literary work (Poetry and Afsana) here. RazaMaham -
At 18:48,
Deb Sistrunk said...
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@Sajini Chandrasekera: Great topic! Fantastic writing!
I can relate to what you've written. I have been married for two years. My husband and I had a long-distance relationship prior to our marriage. Skype, email, and wireless devices continue to be lifelines for us.
I look forward to reading more of your work. -
At 21:52,
said...
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Please tell some more about Sajini Chandrasekera Ji.
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At 12:12,
Azay said...
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The recent example of long dist relationship is Shoaib and Sania. Personally I think they might not be able to go along too far since both aren't willing to abandon their countries and their respective sports.
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At 09:19,
said...
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@ Shirazi....thank you for the appreciation and for the warm welcome.
I do agree with you that internet have changed our life style to a great extend and more online relationships are becomming common.There are successful relationships which is built online, but most of these are taken for granted and lot of young people get them selves in to trouble falling in love with total strangers.
I like your idea of an online community. It will help people to understand each other and value each other, also we will be able to strengthen the bonds with similar individuals as a community , as a nation and as humans.
Once again thank you for making me part of this great big family ... -
At 09:48,
said...
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@ Durrani...
Thank you for the appreciation.
I do agree with you as this so called internet love is very popular these days among youngsters. And as you say some times these online love ends in a shocking state. Even regurding to your story about a german girl and a pakistani guy is an online love, but looking closely into this this these two people have lacked honesty . If the man had been honest about himself maybe the girl would have appreciated him as him self.
Today most people fall for these online love is not because they truly love each other...just because they are attracted to their apperence or it's just a time pass. But this doesen't mean that true love or honest lovers are unavailable. There are online lovers ends up in successful marriges and are very happy with there choicess.
You also have pointed out that emmotional and moral support which is given by the loved ones near you ...it's agreeable, but if a online love or a distant relationship is built on very solid foundation, no matter the distance they will be there for each other for all good and bad times. They may unable to attained physically but they will hold and be with their lover and will give all the moral support to bypass the sad moments, and will encourage them and celebrate the happy times.
So, i think there are both good and bad in these online relationships and if one is falling in love with some one on the net there's risk and some times these risks are worth exploring... -
At 10:05,
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@ Rafay Bin Ali....
Thank you for the warm welcome, and i'm very happy to be here.
Thank you for letting all the people on distant relationships know about the latest forms of communication.
Rafay, i still think skype is on the top of the list of communication as this provide both video and audio, which you see your partner on the other end and also hear their voice.
If skype didn't exist and the only way of communicatin was from calls and FB chats i wonder whether online relationships will be this popular ..because at one point they will get bored and will end up where they started. But skype is making two lover get closer emmotionaly and physically.
Yes, Rafay i will post more on current issues and hope that we could discuss these on higher grounds. -
At 10:07,
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@ Masha...
Thank you for your lovely words. i will share more of current issues in future.. -
At 10:10,
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@ Anonymous...
Thank you for your welcome. i will share my writings and poetry here. -
At 10:17,
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@ Deb sistrunk....
Thank you Deb for appreciating my work and thank you for your comment as you provide proof that distant love can be successful mainly with communication. As you say skype, email and phones were what made you to the top and i personely think skype made you two closer as lovers.
i will share my work here and hope that you will enjoy reading them. -
At 10:36,
said...
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@ Rashmi...
Rashmi, i'm from Sri Lanka . I have two daughters both schooling. About 6 months ago a dear friend of mine encourage me to write after seeing a writing i did on floods in Pakistan 2010. I was shared some shocking pictures of this devestating episode, and it made me write down my feelings . And my first poem came which is called the SILENT CRY...It was a personel experence of a very dear friend of mine and was shared with some of my close friends, and every one liked it and encourage me further...but all my writings i kept to my self ..
But now i have a place to share my work and hope that you will enjoy all my writings in future. -
At 12:20,
said...
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Thanks Sajini. Share your 'silent cry' here' too.
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At 13:35,
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@ Azay...
Love have no boundries and when you fall in love you forget all norms around you. Distance, relegion and nationality becomes major issues when the relationship goes to the level of commitment. An ordinary person can take that extra mile to make the commitment, but public figures who represent a country or a nation is in a stake as they become the pride of the country. I think Shoaib and Sania is also represent two countries are both pride and honour to their countries. If they are taking that further mile to go for commitment then one of them will have to sacrifice their carrier. Any way we'll hope that every thing will work out best for them..
Thank you for the comment Azay... -
At 13:36,
said...
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@ Rashmi....
Sure i will Rashmi , thank you. -
At 12:52,
Nayyar Julian said...
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Sajini Chandrasekera
welcome, and ur Article is really intresting and really close to the Reality.And In this Arictle u noted about the Distance Relationship is really important for me in my life and i found many good and Scincere Persons in this way and now they really close to my life,Love is not about having someone,but protecting them and making them happy.Even you are being part in miles.
I look forward ur more articles and poetry ..So GOD BLESS U -
At 14:02,
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@ Nayyar Julian....
Thank you for your lovely comment and i agree with what you say. Relationships are not always about love it is also about friendships and through online i have found amazing friends from all around the world and it's important to keep that love and understanding through communication. Some of my work was published in Light Within and will post more ....Once again thank you and stay blessed . -
At 11:19,
said...
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Love is hard enough. And online love is even harder. Good read.
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At 00:56,
Kausar Bilal said...
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Its a nice post, but I think in case of Love, we need the real presence and experience of our partner, which is always missing. So, we cant be sure of our relationship.
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At 11:51,
Sajini Chandrasekera said...
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@ Kausar Bilal....
Thank you for your comment and yes i agree that love should be experienced in real with real people . Love must felt physically and emotionally and online love /distant love do lack the physical relation , but that doesn't mean that love don't exist or successful . There are online love which end in marriage or have a very strong relation rather than love felt in real life . Good communication and understanding can make online/distant love a success.
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